Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Still dying that you shit outside
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
