i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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