you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Randomize
