What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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