Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
