I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
