i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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