Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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