she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
