yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
