hotel room ftw
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
