I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
