Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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