According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
