We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
