Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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