Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Found the puke drawer
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
