I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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