There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
