Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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