I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Just puked most of my soul out..
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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