if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
