i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
