let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
