he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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