You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
