gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
