you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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