No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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