im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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