you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
