Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
