That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
