it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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