Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
