I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
