Having a random hookup so left but love u
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
