He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
