I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
