Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
