Screwed.edu
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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