Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
