opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I think people are normalizing furries
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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