So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
