Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
