you guys were way drunker than both of me
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
