don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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