My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
