Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
