That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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