You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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